Dreamer’s World May 15, 2018 – No Surrender

    Since I deliberately removed myself from most social media, I find my mind is at peace. I still maintain a presence on Google + but that is because the people there have always been more real and interactive, rather than bots screaming for attention. Occasionally, I do run across a person or bot on there that can irritate me, but it is so easy just to block them and never say a word. I just keep enjoying my day and never look back.
    The response I get from people when they learn that I left facebook and twitter behind is shock. When they ask why I decided to leave, I point out that they didn’t notice for over a month and then say nothing else.      As is the case with most people, their attention is drawn to the easiest and most flashy things that can occupy their time.
    FB and Twitter offer people the cookie-cutter approach to social interaction. No thought is required, just start posting away and liking this and forwarding that, and somehow at the end, you are supposed to be a better person??? I was guilty of that myself. I found it so easy to hide behind an avatar and just follow the other lemmings over the cliff.
    If nothing else, FB and Twitter taught me an old lesson once again. I desire real interaction with real people. I don’t like cliques or trends. I cannot be happy as a member of the herd all of the time.
    I am the person in a crowd who looks in the opposite direction from everyone else. I am the person who takes the path less traveled when I come to a fork in the road. I prefer to hike along a trail in the woods over speeding down a paved highway.
    I prefer silence over the mindless chatter. I find happiness in music rather than TV. I would rather read than listen to a conversation about the latest fads or celebrities.
    I don’t feel I am better than other people, I just realize and embrace the differences that make me unique. I feel that everyone should take the path that diverges from the crowd, but I don’t demand that from others. Freedom includes the freedom to surrender to the mob, but I threw my white flag away years ago.

Dreamer’s World January 20, 2018 – My Birthday And The Best Gift Ever

    The big day is here at last! Today, I am 54 years old. I don’t feel any older, but the calendar indicates that I have to acknowledge another year has passed in my life. Time always has its way with us, no matter how we measure it.
I reflect on this day. I see vaguely into my past and never thought about what it would be like to be 54 years old. It always seemed that things like this were sometime in the far distant future, and yet here I sit writing about it as it is happening to me. I am not sad about this birthday; it signals that I have made it through another year.
    Today also marks a milestone in my relationship with Hal. Since we just celebrated our 18th anniversary two weeks ago, I realize that I have been with Hal for 1/3 of my life. Knowing this comforts me more than anything else. I don’t know where I would be without Hal. I don’t know if I would still be alive without Hal. He is the most wonderful gift that I ever received.
    When I thought of my 36th birthday in 2000, I was in a tough spot in my life. I had just met Hal, but there was no real indication that our relationship would last this long. I had my hopes that it would, tempered with a huge dose of cynicism about relationships in general. I remember drinking heavily to escape the loneliness that I felt at that time. For the first months of our time together, I felt like I needed alcohol to deal with the inevitable breakup that was bound to happen.
    Something strange took place inside of me. I began to feel positive emotions again. I started to see opportunities rather than obstacles in my life. I began to be comfortable in my own skin, and my confidence returned. This was the confidence that came from within and not the false bravado that I wore like a shield for so long. I dared to feel happy and calm and relaxed. I accepted that someone loved me for who I was.
    By the summer of 2000, I was a different and better man. I had stopped continually drinking without ever noticing it. Hal never bugged me about it. I was changing because I wanted to, not because I was forced. My unconscious choice to stop drinking saved my life, and I thank Hal. I found the joy of living again and have never let it go.
The years since then have been fantastic and empowering for me. Hal and I have gone through rough times, but we have never given up on one another. He is my soulmate.
    Today I am 54 years old. Today I am here because of love and friendship from the most important person in the world.

Dreamer’s World January 20, 2018 – My Birthday And The Best Gift Ever

    The big day is here at last! Today, I am 54 years old. I don’t feel any older, but the calendar indicates that I have to acknowledge another year has passed in my life. Time always has its way with us, no matter how we measure it.
I reflect on this day. I see vaguely into my past and never thought about what it would be like to be 54 years old. It always seemed that things like this were sometime in the far distant future, and yet here I sit writing about it as it is happening to me. I am not sad about this birthday; it signals that I have made it through another year.
    Today also marks a milestone in my relationship with Hal. Since we just celebrated our 18th anniversary two weeks ago, I realize that I have been with Hal for 1/3 of my life. Knowing this comforts me more than anything else. I don’t know where I would be without Hal. I don’t know if I would still be alive without Hal. He is the most wonderful gift that I ever received.
    When I thought of my 36th birthday in 2000, I was in a tough spot in my life. I had just met Hal, but there was no real indication that our relationship would last this long. I had my hopes that it would, tempered with a huge dose of cynicism about relationships in general. I remember drinking heavily to escape the loneliness that I felt at that time. For the first months of our time together, I felt like I needed alcohol to deal with the inevitable breakup that was bound to happen.
    Something strange took place inside of me. I began to feel positive emotions again. I started to see opportunities rather than obstacles in my life. I began to be comfortable in my own skin, and my confidence returned. This was the confidence that came from within and not the false bravado that I wore like a shield for so long. I dared to feel happy and calm and relaxed. I accepted that someone loved me for who I was.
    By the summer of 2000, I was a different and better man. I had stopped continually drinking without ever noticing it. Hal never bugged me about it. I was changing because I wanted to, not because I was forced. My unconscious choice to stop drinking saved my life, and I thank Hal. I found the joy of living again and have never let it go.
The years since then have been fantastic and empowering for me. Hal and I have gone through rough times, but we have never given up on one another. He is my soulmate.
    Today I am 54 years old. Today I am here because of love and friendship from the most important person in the world.