Dreamer’s World June 26, 2018 -Where Have The Years Gone?

    I got word from family yesterday that my cousin came through her surgery with flying colors. She will know the results of the biopsy in a few days, and, at the tender young age of 87, she will stay in the hospital for about a week before going home. I hope that there is good news when the lab results come back, but I am a realist, and I know that cancer attacks people who have never been in high-risk groups such as my cousin. It is an evil and indiscriminate killer.
    Thinking about my cousin having surgery days after turning 87 has me thinking about where time goes once we experience it? I can clearly see in my mind the visits to her when I was a child. She is 33 years older than I am, this is the result of being the offspring of the youngest of my Dad’s clan of 11 kids. It seems that an entire generation skipped when it comes to my cousins. All of them are much older than I am.
    I remember getting to know her, and she was already an adult, teaching at an elementary school. We were never close like most cousins due to the age differential, but we shared a bond because Mom and Dad had helped to raise her in the years long before I was born. In fact, Mom and Dad helped her to attend college at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, TN and get a start on her own life. Therefore, she has always seen me as special because of the kindness that my parents showed to her when she was a little girl and a young woman.
    When my Dad died in 1981, she was there to comfort me, but I could see that she was just as upset as I was. We ended up comforting each other. When Mom died in 2001, she was there once again. She feels like a much closer relative than just a cousin who is 33 years older than I am.
    She has her own children and grandchildren now, and they are all wonderful people who care about her more than I can because they are much closer. It doesn’t diminish the bond that we share. My life took me away from western Kentucky many years ago, and I have done well for myself. I still think about her on a regular basis, and she was so relieved when I called her on her birthday.
    I am relieved that the surgery was successful. I will be waiting to hear from her kids about how things turn out and when she might be going home from the hospital. If she indicates that she wants to see me, I will take time off and travel to visit her, but I don’t want to be a burden on her or her family. Her children are all older than I am, and it has been many years since we last saw each other. This is the generational gap that I mentioned before on full display.
    Cancer is a killer, Time is ruthless. Each will have its way, and there isn’t much we can do to change either of them. I will keep her in my thoughts and get on with my life and hope that I will be as well-remembered when I reach the age of 87.

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    One of the best things I remember about Mom was her sense of humor and how she used it to her advantage when she needed to. I was born in 1964, and I still remember something that happened in the spring of 1970.
    We had an old 13-inch Black and White TV in the family room.

    This isnt exactly the old TV we had, but it illustrates the point for the tale about my Mom. Mohm started telling Dad that she wanted a new color TV for the family room. Dad, being his normal self, told Mom that since the TV we had still worked that there was no reason to replace it. Mom began planting flowers for the garden that Sping or 1970 and she conspicuously brought some of the plants inside to “add some color to the house”. Several of the planters went on top of the old TV. Mom took great care of the plants every single day. She made certain that they were rotated in and out of the sun each day, and afterward she would make sure that the plants were watered. ESPECIALLY the plants on top of the old TV.
    It didn’t take more than 3 days for the old TV to stop working. Mom played it cool, but I suspect that Dad knew what she was up to. The next day we had a new color TV in the family room. Thanks for the memories. Mom.

Dreamer’s World February 06, 2018 – Nothing Ever Stays The Same

    Each day that passes presents us with opportunities and challenges. Some things occur that we must respond to in some form or another. How we react determines our life at that moment. Some of these things are physical and tangible, while others are more ethereal or mental, but they are all worthwhile because to discard them is to alter the path that we are on.
    Today is one of those days, naturally, but it is a day when I remember my Mom. She would have been 93 years old today, but she is no longer here. I know that today will be filled with memories of her more than other days. For the first few years after she died, I hated the memories because they only served to remind me of who I had lost. The emotions were intense, sad, and bitter because I was coping with loss. The memories were clouded with reactions, rather than just letting them flow through my mind and enjoying them for what they were.
    I learned just to embrace the memories that come to me. Questioning why a particular instance would flash into my mind on Mom’s birthday. Most of the memories are wonderful and pleasant, but occasionally there are memories that are sad and unpleasant. I learned to accept them as they appeared, knowing that the simple act of remembering Mom was the vital thing. A memory of an argument reminds me that no one is perfect and that holding a grudge accomplishes nothing positive.
    The most crucial memories were when she talked to me about life, and how to deal with it when things go wrong. She taught me that each disappointment was there to remind me of how good things were at other times and that I should always keep things in perspective. She taught me that I had my life to live, and that only I could make myself happy. She taught me to always be considerate of others, but not at the expense of my own well-being.

Dreamer’s World February 06, 2018 – Nothing Ever Stays The Same

    Each day that passes presents us with opportunities and challenges. Some things occur that we must respond to in some form or another. How we react determines our life at that moment. Some of these things are physical and tangible, while others are more ethereal or mental, but they are all worthwhile because to discard them is to alter the path that we are on.
    Today is one of those days, naturally, but it is a day when I remember my Mom. She would have been 93 years old today, but she is no longer here. I know that today will be filled with memories of her more than other days. For the first few years after she died, I hated the memories because they only served to remind me of who I had lost. The emotions were intense, sad, and bitter because I was coping with loss. The memories were clouded with reactions, rather than just letting them flow through my mind and enjoying them for what they were.
    I learned just to embrace the memories that come to me. Questioning why a particular instance would flash into my mind on Mom’s birthday. Most of the memories are wonderful and pleasant, but occasionally there are memories that are sad and unpleasant. I learned to accept them as they appeared, knowing that the simple act of remembering Mom was the vital thing. A memory of an argument reminds me that no one is perfect and that holding a grudge accomplishes nothing positive.
    The most crucial memories were when she talked to me about life, and how to deal with it when things go wrong. She taught me that each disappointment was there to remind me of how good things were at other times and that I should always keep things in perspective. She taught me that I had my life to live, and that only I could make myself happy. She taught me to always be considerate of others, but not at the expense of my own well-being.