New Year’s Eve

My main goal for today is straightforward. Do NOT bend over for any reason at all today. I bent over yesterday morning to empty the clothes hamper, and I regretted it for the rest of the day with bouts of vertigo that kept wiping me out.

I don’t want or need to feel like that today. We have a trip to the grocery store to do curbside pick up and a few errands that we need to take care of today. We don’t want to be out anytime after dark because there will always be idiots out drinking and driving. After all, it is New Year’s Eve.

We have no plans for tonight other than to be here with each other, and that is more than enough to make us happy.

Recovery

Wednesday 30 DEC 20

Today I will be pushing for 2500 steps as I continue to work myself back into better physical shape. Today marks the two-week anniversary of coming home from the hospital.

I was so damn weak when I got home. The only thing that I could do was to wrap myself in blankets and sit in the chair in the living room. I could barely stand up without almost falling over. It was impossible to do anything without Hal’s help. I was utterly dependent upon him for everything.

Eventually, I felt my strength begin to return, and my appetite slowly emerged. I had lost more than 20 pounds in the hospital, and that had weakened me more than I realized. It was nearly a week before I had the strength to stand in the shower to clean myself properly and feel clean again.

Hal put me on a sensible plan to recover from all of the issues. The project seemed relatively weak at first, but I quickly found out that I was in worse shape than I thought. The modest goals were achievable without exhausting myself. Getting too tired every day would just have discouraged me and slowed my progress, if not dropped altogether.

I wasn’t even allowed outside the apartment until the end of the first week. Even then, I was only allowed to walk to the car and start the engine to make sure it would work. I went to my appointments with Hal via Uber. Hal let me drive to the grocery store and wait for him in the parking lot a few days ago. Now I am allowed to make short trips on my own because I am stronger than I was before.

The real way I can measure my progress is my step count. In two weeks, I am up to 2500 steps per day and feeling great. I will try for 3000 steps as my next goal. Ultimately, I want to reach 10,000 steps per day. I will get there eventually.

I can’t stress emo that none of this would have happened without Hal. He is my soulmate and my partner on this journey through life. In fact, in just one week we will celebrate our 21st anniversary.

I tell Hal every day how much I live him and how lucky I am to have him in my life.

Wednesday 30 DEC 20 Music Playlist

As I’m awake, I might as well start another Day One Journal about my music addiction. Many other things are far worse to be addicted to than music. I used to smoke. Thankfully I found the will power to stop. I never want to stop my music addiction, however.

I decided to let Apple Music create a playlist based on my music taste, and that is what I am currently listening to. I’m enjoying everything from Supertramp to David Bowie and Beck, all thrown together in wonderful randomness. My day is already almost perfect due to this incredible music mix pumping into my brain.

Dreamer’s World June 21, 2018 – Digging A Hole

    After I finished my first blog post today, I started wondering about how the awful effects of having a Nazi in the White House might affect us. One thing really startled me.
    RWNJ lunatics like to point out that people who come to this country should be restricted because they could be enemies or terrorists. This is a valid point, and should not be underestimated. However, putting children in concentration camps might be the worst thing that we could do. These people coming here are in search of a better life for themselves and their children. Treating them like subhumans, and treating their children like criminals might have the effect of creating more enemies and terrorists than we already face.
    We don’t need more enemies unless you subscribe to the RWNJ Nazi view of the world that anyone who disagrees with you, or looks different than you, or comes from another country or ethnic background is already a threat. I refute that point of view, we need more love in this world and not more hatred. Sadly, the Nazi in the White House seems hellbent on making new enemies whenever and wherever he can.
    RWNJ and the Nazi in the White House are our biggest threats to our security.
 

Dreamer’s World June 21, 2018 – What Have We Become?

        Since today is the longest day of the year, it only seems right to direct the maximum light onto this country and ask “What In The FUCK Is Wrong With Us?”
    The news is filled with stories of people hating each other publicly. We have opened a Pandora’s Box of dangerous emotion and hatred ever since the RWNJ fringe came to power in this country. The Nazi in the White House has been leading the charge of these hate-filled fanatics and shows no sign of slowing down. I find it hard to believe that there are so many hate-filled people in this country. They are the first to claim how much they love this nation, but they are also the first to show how little they understand it.
The US was founded by immigrants, but today the followers of the Nazi in the White House would gladly promote genocide if their idiot leader told them that is what he wanted. Their hatred doesn’t stop there, of course.
Any minority is the subject of their wrath
because they sadly believe that only people as stupid and truly disgusting as they are should live here. Every day, we find another example of some racist RWNJ caught on video showing their hatred for other people. Racial hate crimes are increasing, but since the Nazi in the White House thinks Nazis are “very fine people,” they proceed without fear of condemnation or punishment.
The fact that RWNJ oppose most hate-crime legislation shows their true colors to the rest of us. I have to believe that there are more of us who love each other than there are of those who just hate everyone. My faith in this is tested each and every day.
A musician and a college football coach post racist things online, and it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. This is the same pathetic response we have to mass killings. These things happen so frequently that we just accept them as normal and move on with our lives. They are NOT NORMAL, and we SHOULD RESIST with all of our strength.
The LGBTQ community feels the hatred from the RWNJ on a daily basis. The progress towards equality is being rolled back on the tidal wave of hatred.
Children are put into concentration camps because of the background of their parents, and there is outrage, but nothing will result from that outrage. The RWNJ know that this will become the new normal very soon. It is part of their plan to turn this nation into the 4th Reich, led by the Naxi in the White House.

Dreamer’s World June 21, 2018 – What Have We Become?

        Since today is the longest day of the year, it only seems right to direct the maximum light onto this country and ask “What In The FUCK Is Wrong With Us?”
    The news is filled with stories of people hating each other publicly. We have opened a Pandora’s Box of dangerous emotion and hatred ever since the RWNJ fringe came to power in this country. The Nazi in the White House has been leading the charge of these hate-filled fanatics and shows no sign of slowing down. I find it hard to believe that there are so many hate-filled people in this country. They are the first to claim how much they love this nation, but they are also the first to show how little they understand it.
The US was founded by immigrants, but today the followers of the Nazi in the White House would gladly promote genocide if their idiot leader told them that is what he wanted. Their hatred doesn’t stop there, of course.
Any minority is the subject of their wrath
because they sadly believe that only people as stupid and truly disgusting as they are should live here. Every day, we find another example of some racist RWNJ caught on video showing their hatred for other people. Racial hate crimes are increasing, but since the Nazi in the White House thinks Nazis are “very fine people,” they proceed without fear of condemnation or punishment.
The fact that RWNJ oppose most hate-crime legislation shows their true colors to the rest of us. I have to believe that there are more of us who love each other than there are of those who just hate everyone. My faith in this is tested each and every day.
A musician and a college football coach post racist things online, and it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore. This is the same pathetic response we have to mass killings. These things happen so frequently that we just accept them as normal and move on with our lives. They are NOT NORMAL, and we SHOULD RESIST with all of our strength.
The LGBTQ community feels the hatred from the RWNJ on a daily basis. The progress towards equality is being rolled back on the tidal wave of hatred.
Children are put into concentration camps because of the background of their parents, and there is outrage, but nothing will result from that outrage. The RWNJ know that this will become the new normal very soon. It is part of their plan to turn this nation into the 4th Reich, led by the Naxi in the White House.

Dreamer’s World May 13, 2018 – Thanks, Mom

      Mother’s Day is upon us once again. Mom is no longer here, she died 17 years ago. I will soon have spent a third of my life without her, but I still remember and love her.
    I remember the times when I told her that I would never forget her. I remember the times when she told me that I was going to be awesome when I grew up. I remember the home-cooked meals that I can never replicate.
    I remember the arguments that I always lost. I remember the hugs. I remember the celebrations after baseball games when I did well. I remember the things that she taught me.
    I remember the times when she was a room mother in elementary school. I remember that the other kids in class thought the world of her. I remember how she hugged each and every child just like she did to me.
    I remember her saying that there wasn’t enough love in the world, unless we made it ourselves. I remember her telling me that I should never look down on anyone, and that looking up to someone was something that they had to earn, it wasn’t freely given.
    I remember her voice on the phone when I went away to college and then on to the Navy. I remember worrying about her being alone since Dad had already died when I was in high school.
    I remember how she always made me feel loved and made the house feel like a home to anyone who came to the door.
     I remember her on her deathbed. I remember telling her that if she had to go, that I would be fine. I remember holding her hand and watching her fade away.
 
    I remember. I will never forget.
 
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

Dreamer’s World May 13, 2018 – Thanks, Mom

      Mother’s Day is upon us once again. Mom is no longer here, she died 17 years ago. I will soon have spent a third of my life without her, but I still remember and love her.
    I remember the times when I told her that I would never forget her. I remember the times when she told me that I was going to be awesome when I grew up. I remember the home-cooked meals that I can never replicate.
    I remember the arguments that I always lost. I remember the hugs. I remember the celebrations after baseball games when I did well. I remember the things that she taught me.
    I remember the times when she was a room mother in elementary school. I remember that the other kids in class thought the world of her. I remember how she hugged each and every child just like she did to me.
    I remember her saying that there wasn’t enough love in the world, unless we made it ourselves. I remember her telling me that I should never look down on anyone, and that looking up to someone was something that they had to earn, it wasn’t freely given.
    I remember her voice on the phone when I went away to college and then on to the Navy. I remember worrying about her being alone since Dad had already died when I was in high school.
    I remember how she always made me feel loved and made the house feel like a home to anyone who came to the door.
     I remember her on her deathbed. I remember telling her that if she had to go, that I would be fine. I remember holding her hand and watching her fade away.
 
    I remember. I will never forget.
 
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

Dreamer’s World February 13, 2018 – A Cynic’s View Of Valentine’s Day

    Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. That means the day when people run around looking for a gift that symbolizes love to that special someone in their life. At least that is the commercially accepted version of how things work. In reality, people are running around trying to find a special card or gift that somehow demonstrates that we accept the notion that the lack of a card or gift tomorrow indicates that we just don’t give a shit about that person we supposedly love. The only people who will end up happy are those who will make money off of the holiday. A card or gift signifies nothing if the other 364 days of the year haven’t already demonstrated love and passion for someone else. If a person can be so shallow as to believe that the lack of a gift or card means a lack of love, then I question if that person deserves the attention in the first place.
    I am a passionate person. I wear my love on my sleeve, and I rarely make any attempt to hide it. I am lucky to have Hal in my life, and I let him know this every day. We share the same feeling about Valentine’s Day. For us, celebrating our love is a daily occurrence. I have never been happier, and it has nothing to do with exchanging cards or gifts. To imply that our love needs an annual marker to celebrate cheapens what we work for all year long.
    Valentine’s Day has become a sad caricature of what it proclaims itself to represent.  People now suffer from loneliness and depression on this holiday, just like every other holiday when they don’t fit into the preconceived notion of what everyone should be. People are conditioned to feel that they are defective or incomplete on Valentine’s Day unless they are participating in some approved ritual. The day is made to isolate those who are not in relationships. It shuns them and discards their feelings in the pursuit of profits just like every other major holiday. There is a deep psychological pattern to this. Those who are “normal” are rewarded for following the herd in the pursuit of corporate greed and mass media approval. Those who cannot or do not participate are seen as malcontents or defective in some way. Is this approach supposed to demonstrate love?
    If you choose to give a card or gift to someone tomorrow, make sure that it is what you want to do and not what you have to do. Make sure that you celebrate the love in your life every day as if Valentine’s Day never existed.