Myself

Myself

I read a great article by a blogger I follow about Gratitude and Thankfulness, in which he pointed out that we forget to grateful for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with being thankful for ourselves, indeed it is what makes each of us unique.

My Gratitude journal never mentioned being thankful for just being me, and after reading my friend’s blog post, I saw exactly what he meant. My attention was going outward when some of it should have been focused inward. If we can not see the good in ourselves, then we are truly blind.

Thankful

Thankful

I am in a bind financially until the end of this month. I had an unexpected car expense of nearly $600 that had to be taken care of, which destroyed my monthly budget. While this is unpleasant and uncomfortable, it does make me focus on what I have rather than what I lack. In fact, I have to be thankful that I could take care of the expense at the time.

I can also be thankful that I recognize my budget needs to be adjusted in the future for the next unexpected expense. While I make plans for the future, I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads and enough food to make it until next payday.

I am thankful that this is the first time I’m facing a situation like this. I’m thankful that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I take solace from the lesson learned after reading “Down and Out in Paris and London” by George Orwell many years ago. Once you hit bottom, you realize that you are still alive.

I’m thankful for the desire to write and express myself, and I’m thankful for those who read my words. I’m thankful if my words help someone else, and I hope they pay that help forward to someone else who can then be thankful.

DDP YOGA Day 2

Day 2 Yoga

To be fair, day 2 is a repeat of day 1. I’ll be doing the introductory program for a week before moving to the next level. There’s no reason for me to push myself so hard that I get discouraged and quit.

The introductory exercises are gentle and formulated to “wake up” muscles that haven’t been used in a long time. Having said that, I feel the stretch that I’ve done the first two days.

Starting Yoga Again

Yesterday I finally started yoga again.

I realized that I wasn’t going to feel better unless I did something to get myself moving. I overcame a few obstacles with the yoga app before starting because I didn’t want things messed up with my account.

I feel better after the first day. I know that real change takes time, but at least I’ve taken the first step.

I find this quote very refreshing as I lay awake in bed. Life is about living, not about finding what you’ll be like at some future point. The journey is the important thing to recognize every day as we build the foundation for tomorrow.

A New Yoga Beginning

A New Beginning

I’m starting yoga. Again. I had started practicing about a year ago until I was in the hospital off and on for the last four months of 2020. I was beginning to feel the benefits of yoga, but that ground to a screeching halt.

I have regained as much strength as possible since January, and I feel ready to start my yoga journey again. I’m humble enough to start at the very basic level once again. I will take things slowly, and focus on my technique and doing things right, not just racing through things.

I’m prepared to fail in the first few attempts because my endurance is very low, but I’ll keep after it until I complete the beginner course and then move on to the next course. One of my meditation lessons is all about failing better each time I try something new, because that is how you succeed in the long term.

Last year, I was using the DDPYoga app. For some reason I cannot get it to work this year, so I’m moving to the Glo app. It fills the requirements I need, so I’ll give it a shot. I prefer to start yoga at home by myself before attempting it in a group setting. There is a studio nearby that I can use, but my self-confidence is lacking right now. The last thing I want is to take my out-of-shape self in front of a bunch of other people.

I could certainly use some inspiration from others who are practicing yoga. Tell me your story.

Perspective

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Max Ehrmann

A powerful message that I found this morning. I’m struggling with the purpose of my life, what I can do to make this a better place. Sadly, I veer towards negativity when I look at the world we live in. I feel powerless to change things, and this upsets me.

I need to practice gratitude daily and stop pouring over the news every day. The information generally upsets me, and that causes stress. I need to refocus my life on positive things and turn away from negativity.

Gratitude is a difficult thing to practice when all I do is criticize something that I can not control. My mindset defeats the very concept of gratitude before I even start. I need to contain my anger and eliminate it, or it will consume me after all.

Making a change like this won’t be easy. A wise saying is that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, so that gives me confidence that I’m on the right track.

Meditation

The meditation session today ended with this quote from Jimi Hendrix. He knew what he was talking about. He brought forth such incredible music because he learned to listen to his inner voice.

I’m still getting in tune with my own inner voice. Not the angry one, I’ve listened to that one far too much in the past. I’m searching for that calm inner voice that will lead me to peace and tranquillity in my life and mind.

Is This All There Is??

Is this the best I can hope for?

I’m almost afraid to write this blog post. It is a very sensitive subject for me to discuss here, but I do know that therapy stresses writing to get my feelings out in the open.

My recovery from last fall’s hospital stays has been excellent, according to my doctors. COPD means I’ll never be a runner. I won’t play tennis or basketball anytime soon. Compared with my condition last December, I have made significant progress, but that progress has slowed down almost to the point of not improving anymore at all.

Is my current condition the highest plateau I can reach? Part of me screams “No!” but my rational side says this is probably true. I still get dizzy when I have to bend over for more than a second or two. I feel like I’m running out of breath very quickly. Thankfully, I can use meditation and controlled breathing to stop myself from getting into real trouble.

I am only mortal, as are we all. I recognize that I’m closer to the end than the beginning. I see the world going straight to hell, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Stupid people want to argue, and I don’t have the stamina for that anymore.

If what I feel now is my new apex, I want to spend a lot of time here before I start the inevitable downhill slide. I am currently focused on the quality of my life more than ever before.

I don’t plan on leaving here anytime soon.