Category Archives: Reflection

Recovery

The week is halfway done. I am still getting over a sinus infection that sidelined me last weekend and wonder how much longer the recovery will take? Haven’t I suffered enough with all the sneezing and not being able to lean my head forward without worrying that my nose will start to leak like a faucet with no washers?

Actually, that last part hasn’t happened since Monday and I don’t want to relive it again. The worn-out feeling persists and I really want to do nothing more after work than take a hot shower and then crawl back into bed. The one advantage is that the meds have helped me to sleep better the last several nights, and there had been no insomnia to bother me.

I know that I am getting older and that any recovery will take longer than it did when I was younger. It seems unfair in a way that as time gets shorter, we need more of it spent on things like recovery rather than adventure.

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If I Had More Time

The next question on my Journaling journey is “What would I do if I had more time?”. Always an interesting question, and it requires some serious thought to answer. Would I strive to be better at work to justify making more money so we could have nicer things? Would I decide to spend that extra time at home resting? Perhaps I would spend more time with my guitar? The possibilities are endless but the question seems to demand only one answer.

I would definitely spend that extra time at home with Hal and The Stooges because, without them in my life, I don’t even know if I would be alive. They are the center of things in my world and they deserve all the time and attention I can give to them. They provide me with everything I need to be alive. The love is unconditional and free-flowing in this household and that is the best feeling in the world. 

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Remembering

Every year on this date, I take some time to write a letter to Mom. She would have been 95 years young today, just two days before her birthday, but sadly she passed away 19 years ago. She is still a part of me because the memory of her lives on. 

Mom would be proud of me and how I am doing, but that is because she always was proud of me. She and Dad raised me to be self-sufficient, and to be kind to others. Those lessons have served me well throughout my life. Mom always taught me to look ahead, and not back. “What is past, is past” was what her and Dad always told me whenever I wanted to linger on a mistake I had made. Learn from your mistake and move on was the motto I got from Mom.

I remember Mom as a room mother in elementary school, helping out with holiday parties and such. One of her proudest accomplishments was being the first white woman to have ever hugged some of my African-American classmates around 1970. As children, we didn’t realize the importance of that until much later. I was always proud to be her son, but never more so than those days.

Mom and Dad considered themselves to be special and unique. That belief was passed down to me. It isn’t arrogance, it is an appreciation of who we all are as individuals, and the belief that to force conformity onto anyone is just wrong. If you have a good moral compass, you don’t need to be a cog in any great machine that people try to force you into.

I miss Mom. But I know that she lived her life as she wanted. She instilled her love of life and her kindness to me. There will never be anyone else like her, but that is exactly what makes her so special and worthy of remembering on her 95th birthday.

Thanks for everything, Mom

I still miss you 

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Hitting Restart

After a terrible weekend has ended, I start this week with a renewed appreciation of my life and how well things have gone for the most part. It seems that I take so much for granted until some radical event happens and it is only then that I look back and appreciate what I have. It has honestly been too long since I practiced reflection on this blog and it is time to do so once again.

Hal and I have been together for just over 20 years. Our relationship is such an integral part of my life that I often forget how valuable it really is. I don’t mean that we neglect each other, just that the relationship is so stable that we forget to recognize it often enough. Over 1/3 of my life has been spent with Hal, such a long time to have stability and happiness in my life. I need to take the time to appreciate it more often.

The Stooges are all doing well. We have always maintained The Stooges in various incarnations throughout the years. We have tried to provide the best loving home for each of the Stooges during their time with us. The Stooges who are no longer with us are U.K., Maxwell, and Spartacus. Now we love and care for Stevie Nicks, Hal The Cat, and Jax The Cat. Each has brought their own unique style of joy and happiness to our lives, and no one is more loved than the others. With luck, the current version of The Stooges will be with us for many years.

This last weekend was a disaster financially for me. $1000 that I didn’t want to spend had to be spent regardless to take care of issues with the Fiesta. I am still paying off debts, who isn’t? I keep hoping to see light at the end of the tunnel, but that vision is always interrupted by the sound of a locomotive whistle speeding towards me. I can only just keep going and doing the best I can. One of these days the debts will be paid off, or I will be so dead that it won’t matter.

Considering that I failed to take better care of myself when I was younger, I am doing OK physically. The ailments seem to keep piling up as the years go by, but I am happy with how my life has turned out. It is time to flush what happened over the weekend and hit the restart button for this week.

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