This morning was a real test of my ability to keep from losing my temper. I had to get a replacement windshield on my car, I was under the impression that everything was all set. When the work was completed, I was told that I owed almost $600. The temptation to just go off on those people was strong, but I thought quickly about how long I have fought my own inner struggle to remain calm.
I immediately put my inner brakes on. I did not raise my voice with the receptionist but she knew that I was upset. I think that the calm exterior frightened her more than if I just started screaming.
I caught her in a lie when she said that she had called and told me that insurance was not going to cover the expense. In a cold and calculating voice, I told her that IF she had ever spoken to me and told me that I was going to be charged nearly $600, I would have canceled the appointment and never shown up. She knew that I caught her lying.
I still feel proud of myself for not losing my cool. I haven’t felt the stress and panic type anxiety that I would in the past. The meditation is working.
“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”
• Arnold H. Glasow
A true friend is hard to find, and more valuable than all the gold in the world. A true friend will be the one you can count on, and someone that can count on you, because true friendship is a two-way relationship.
One of the hardest things to learn is to be yourself. The world is full of mindless clones who want you to be just like them; that is the easy way to go through life. It is more difficult and more rewarding to take the advice of Allen Ginsberg and follow your inner moonlight without hiding that unique madness that each of us has. The madness makes us unique; it sets us apart from everyone else.
There has never been anyone quite like you. Make the World realize just how special you are.
“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
A powerful message that I found this morning. I’m struggling with the purpose of my life, what I can do to make this a better place. Sadly, I veer towards negativity when I look at the world we live in. I feel powerless to change things, and this upsets me.
I need to practice gratitude daily and stop pouring over the news every day. The information generally upsets me, and that causes stress. I need to refocus my life on positive things and turn away from negativity.
Gratitude is a difficult thing to practice when all I do is criticize something that I can not control. My mindset defeats the very concept of gratitude before I even start. I need to contain my anger and eliminate it, or it will consume me after all.
Making a change like this won’t be easy. A wise saying is that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, so that gives me confidence that I’m on the right track.
The meditation session today ended with this quote from Jimi Hendrix. He knew what he was talking about. He brought forth such incredible music because he learned to listen to his inner voice.
I’m still getting in tune with my own inner voice. Not the angry one, I’ve listened to that one far too much in the past. I’m searching for that calm inner voice that will lead me to peace and tranquillity in my life and mind.
Letting others dictate your value is a very self-destructive process. We are constantly bombarded with messages to be like someone else rather than be our own best person. When we reach adulthood, many of us find that we have no distinct identity because we were forced to emulate someone else.