Keeping My Cool

Keeping My Cool

     This morning was a real test of my ability to keep from losing my temper. I had to get a replacement windshield on my car, I was under the impression that everything was  all set. When the work was completed, I was told that I owed almost $600. The temptation to just go off on those people was strong, but I thought quickly about how long I have fought my own inner struggle to remain calm.

     I immediately put my inner brakes on. I did not raise my voice with the receptionist but she knew that I was upset. I think that the calm exterior frightened her more than if I just started screaming.

     I caught her in a lie when she said that she had called and told me that insurance was not going to cover the expense. In a cold and calculating voice, I told her that IF she had ever spoken to me and told me that I was going to be charged nearly $600, I would have canceled the appointment and never shown up. She knew that I caught her lying.

     I still feel proud of myself for not losing my cool. I haven’t felt the stress and panic type anxiety that I would in the past. The meditation is working.


The pain is brutal. The back of my eyes feel like drums that are being pounded by an overly enthusiastic 7-year old with hypertension and a bad attitude. I made it through the day at work without killing anyone, so that’s a good thing. Now, the tv is OFF and I just want peace and quiet as well as several aspirin to try and make this pain stop.

Sleeping for over an hour numbed the pain, but only until I woke up. More aspirin, and more staying quiet with no tv noise, but the pain still lingers. Blood sugar has never gone high, in fact it is probably going to drop soon unless I eat something. I will go to bed as early as possible this evening and desperately hope that this migraine goes away.

A Much-Needed Break

Life has gotten out of control here over the last two weeks, and I have been struggling to find a way to get things back under control. Thankfully, these problems aren’t related to the COVID-19 pandemic, both Hal (person) and I are well. OK, not completely true for Hal since he is undergoing some extensive dental work, but that wasn’t totally unexpected.

Hal has been understandably cranky at times as he waits for new dentures to be fitted because he isn’t able to eat solid food and I’m making anything and everything that he thinks he can comfortably eat with extracted teeth and a sore mouth. Hopefully this will all be over with in a week, two weeks at the most. This must be awful for him, and I want everything else to be as perfect as possible for him.

This whole situation has worn me out. My yoga has lapsed, and I feel terrible about that. I am working several projects on the job, so I’m busier than normal there, but there aren’t enough hours in the day right now to get everything done and still have enough time to rest. The holiday weekend couldn’t have come at a better time for me, I have tried to deliberately detach myself from the distractions, my success rate is almost 50% I suppose.

We did get an air fryer this weekend, something we’ve wanted for awhile and now we have the room in our kitchen for it.

Because the air fryer made by the Instant Pot company, it should be very high quality and last for a long time.

Monday is dreary and cool. Exactly the type of day that matches staying at home. Only a trip to the grocery store will get me out today. My sinuses are giving me fits again today, with a severe headache. Hal (person) is resting and still recovering from dental surgery last Friday. I want to rest as much as possible today and try to start a productive short week tomorrow.

Decisions Made

This morning, several decisions were made. These choices all had to do with priorities, and what was more important than others on the list. Sometimes, these choices are very difficult and it seems like there is no good answer. Those are the toughest decisions to make.

The first decision was to purchase a good air purifier. My sinuses aren’t improving well age, and the headaches and sneezing are wearing me out. I decided to get a Dyson because every air purifier that looked like more than cheap plastic was going to cost a lot anyway. I figured that it was best to go with a brand name that is widely respected.

That decision made my next choice very easy. I had been toying with the idea of buying a new guitar. Obviously, that won’t be happening now that I already spent the money for the air purifier. I also decided that the remainder of my list was going to be put away and dealt with at another time. One major purchase is enough.

DDP Yoga Day 5

Day 5 on the DDP Yoga plan introduced me to the next set of exercises. I could really feel a difference as I got in the shower afterwards. It is amazing that a 15-minute workout can make me feel so different. 
I took more care with my breathing during this workout and I believe that also made a difference in how I felt. The irony is that yesterday was a planned day off, and tomorrow is another planned day off. I think this is designed to keep me from getting discouraged or from getting too tired and losing motivation for either reason. This second set of exercises will carry me into next week and gradually build me up. 
On the negative side, I got almost no sleep last night because my sinuses were so congested. I couldn’t breathe through my nose, and breathing through my mouth resulted in my mouth getting so dry that it was ridiculous. I got my DDP Yoga workout in early because I didn’t want to skip it. I know that if I can get my sinuses under control that I will probably fall asleep at some point during the day.
I will cook during my breaks on the job and that should keep me busy and my mind occupied to stave off exhaustion until the afternoon. I also changed out all of the bed linens this morning to get whatever was irritating my sinuses away from me as much as possible tonight. A nice long hot shower should help things as well this evening.
The main thing is that as tired as I am, I do feel better overall than I have in a while. I will keep up with the DDP Yoga training because I truly believe that it will help me.

Don’t Panic

There are days when I just want to crawl back into bed and forget the world even exists. Today is one of those days, my outlook changed quickly after starting work this morning. The sunshine in my mind was replaced by gray gloom and a feeling of blah.

Actually, I know that this really started late yesterday right as I was trying to sign off from work for the day. My supervisor called me from California, where it is three hours earlier, and wanted me to take care of something “right away”. I know the ton in her voice so I had to stop my own plans for after work and start working on what she wanted. The part that pissed me off as I did the work was that at no point did she apologize for keeping me late, nor did she offer me come comp time on Friday to make up for the hassle.
Things like that really piss me off, and unfortunately, I let it get to me. The results of the effort from yesterday were good, but there was no mention of my efforts. This set me into the downward spiral since I was already battling a headache this morning. 
Don’t panic might have worked well for Arthur Dent, but right now it isn’t doing me any good.

DDP Yoga Day 4 – A Day Off

Today marks the 4th day of my DDP Yoga journey. According to the workout plan, today is also my first day off. I took the time this morning to sleep in for 30 minutes before hitting the shower. I wrote yesterday about not expecting too much too fast, and that remains true today. I will take this journey one step, one day, at a time and see where I end up.
I know already that one thing I will have to stop thinking about is my weight. I know instinctively that as I get into better shape that my weight will stop going down because muscle weighs more than fat. I find it impossible to achieve both weight loss and getting stronger at the same time. Therefore I am tracking my weight, but not stressing over it, especially this early in the program.
I am more interested in feeling stronger and healthier. I want to take long walks without having to stop for a break. I want to feel better in the morning when I wake up. I want to modify my body to alleviate aches and pains that are part of getting older. I want to feel less neck pain each day and to have less pain in my shoulders.
All of these goals are what I hope to achieve during thie journey and I hope that DDP Yoga will help me get there and have some fun along the way.

Needing A Mental Health Day

I could really use a Mental Health Day right about now. The constant din and noise from the outside world is starting to wear me down. I haven’t had a day off in months because I want time on the books for our upcoming move that is supposed to happen early in April. I remain optimistic, but the chances seem to be growing that we will not be able to move at the appointed time due to the Coronavirus situation. If we had more flexibility, we would have arranged to move early, but we don’t have that luxury.

In the meantime, I just keep going through the daily grind, over and over, and feeling more exhausted at the end of each day. While I am not the most optimistic person in the world, I keep hoping for the best. I am a realist which, I know, is another word widely associated with pessimism, and I try to do the best I can. Some days that is much easier than others.

I don’t know what I would do if I took a Mental Health Day right now. The weather is miserable and going outside is not an option because of that. We are not under any “stay at home” quarantine orders here……..yet. That is why I am concerned about our move next week. Things could change at any moment.

Everything seems to be moving in slow motion this morning. The only thing missing is a migraine, and I don’t want one of those to appear to harass me today. I am amazed that I have made it through until lunchtime without throwing in the proverbial towel and taking the rest of the day off. Staying busy does make the time go by much faster, although it does make me more sluggish as the day goes on.

And, at approximately 1330 in the afternoon, the migraine announces its arrival with several sledgehammer blows right behind my eyes that completely threw me for a loop. I have taken some Aleve but the bell is still ringing inside my skull and probably will be for a few hours at least. There is one more meeting that I have to get through before quitting time, so I should survive.

Never A Good Sign

I woke up this morning with a blinding headache. I am still working from home today, but I have canceled the conference calls that normally give me mild headaches rather than aggravate this monster headache that is building behind my eyeballs this morning. So far, my blood glucose levels have been within range, so this headache is caused by some different factor that I haven’t identified yet.

I’m listening to some Jazz music at low volume since that usually helps me at any time, but especially when I am not feeling well. At least I don’t have any pressing things lined up for the rest of the day and I can focus on feeling better and getting some rest after work. Of course, I might just submit a request to take part of the day off anyway.

I planned to make spaghetti after work today, but I will wait and see how much better I feel before confirming that decision. I have plenty of food here and the task now is to make certain that we finish up what we already have before we move in a few weeks because I don’t expect that we will transport a lot of food with us when we move.

I had completely forgotten about my appointment with the Chiropractor and Acupuncturist this afternoon. Perhaps they will help with this monster headache and keep it from recurring. I am definitely going to miss the visits to these professionals, I will have to find new ones where we are moving to in the near future. At least this gives me something to look forward to other than cooking after work.

In order to keep my headache from getting worse, I decided to cook the spaghetti for lunch since it doesn’t take much time in the kitchen. I forgot to take any pics, that will have to wait until next time I make spaghetti. My mind was too unfocused to remember. The spaghetti should be done by lunchtime, and I can enjoy it during the one conference call that I cannot ignore today.

Hal has been in the living room watching the infoporn shows all morning long. It is a shame that we disagree on the value of those shows. I find them pointless and irritating, while Hal finds them informative. I cannot imagine ever wanting to know the stupid types of bullshit that those shows specialize in covering. To me, any show that has people sitting around a table and pretending to be your friends are automatically suspect and I won’t watch them.

I am just hoping now to make it through the rest of the day, get to the Chiropractor and Acupuncturist, and then rest at home tonight without any distractions or interruptions because I deserve it.