Ignorance is Killing Us – Part 2 – Racism

    The second danger that we are facing now is Racism. I have been with my partner Hal, who is black, for more than 20 years, and in that time, I have learned a lot about how he sees the world as a black man. The things that he has seen in his life are frightening to think about for me. As a white man, I grew up with privilege that I never realized I had. To me, the local police were people I could put my trust in, especially in a small townh. I never thought that the black children I grew up with could have such a completely different view of the world, but after being with Hal, and then talking to some of the people I grew up with, I now know that the feelings of fear and distrust did exist even when I was a child.
    Those fears and feelings were never shared with me growing up because those feelings are deeply held in the black community. The common perception is that no white outsider can ever appreciate those feelings, that they would be called irrational or ridiculous. I never knowingly felt that way towards my friends, but I never realized that those feelings were being hidden from me either. My parents taught me as best they could to respect everyone, and to never look down on anyone. I am glad that those friends I had growing up never associated me personally with any of the problems that they encountered, but I wish that I had known about those problems so I could have helped to overcome them.
    As the number of murders committed by the police continue to grow, it becomes apparent that the real problem is ignorance. Pretending that this is a recent phenomenon completely proves the very point that my childhood friends, and Hal, have taught me. The problem has been around for over 400 years and is deeply rooted in our society. Slavery might have been outlawed, but the repercussions remain to this very day. White society has the remarkable ability to filter out unpleasant things and pretend that things are completely fine, unless the problems affect white society. This willful choice to be ignorant is a huge part of the problem.
    I am proud to be part of the #BLM movement, but I can never speak for  those directly affected. I can only speak from the perspective of a white man who is woke and proud of it. I choose to not be ignorant, because ignorance is killing us, all of us. To be silent is to be complicit.

A Much-Needed Break

Life has gotten out of control here over the last two weeks, and I have been struggling to find a way to get things back under control. Thankfully, these problems aren’t related to the COVID-19 pandemic, both Hal (person) and I are well. OK, not completely true for Hal since he is undergoing some extensive dental work, but that wasn’t totally unexpected.

Hal has been understandably cranky at times as he waits for new dentures to be fitted because he isn’t able to eat solid food and I’m making anything and everything that he thinks he can comfortably eat with extracted teeth and a sore mouth. Hopefully this will all be over with in a week, two weeks at the most. This must be awful for him, and I want everything else to be as perfect as possible for him.

This whole situation has worn me out. My yoga has lapsed, and I feel terrible about that. I am working several projects on the job, so I’m busier than normal there, but there aren’t enough hours in the day right now to get everything done and still have enough time to rest. The holiday weekend couldn’t have come at a better time for me, I have tried to deliberately detach myself from the distractions, my success rate is almost 50% I suppose.

We did get an air fryer this weekend, something we’ve wanted for awhile and now we have the room in our kitchen for it.

Because the air fryer made by the Instant Pot company, it should be very high quality and last for a long time.

Monday is dreary and cool. Exactly the type of day that matches staying at home. Only a trip to the grocery store will get me out today. My sinuses are giving me fits again today, with a severe headache. Hal (person) is resting and still recovering from dental surgery last Friday. I want to rest as much as possible today and try to start a productive short week tomorrow.

DDP Yoga Days 26-29

    I got so busy and tired that I neglected to make my daily entries about DDP Yoga. I have not stopped working out, but I have decided that I need to focus on getting more rest. Another factor is that because Phase 2 of the program is much longer per session so far, I don’t have time to work out in the morning and have to make time after work in the early evening. This is also the time when I am the most tired.
     Last night I finally forced myself to go to bed at around 2030. This is extremely early, but I know that I need to make this change to my routine so I can sleep better and longer each night. This change will also give me more energy and that in turn will make my workouts even better.

Ignoring The Noise

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If there is a better way to turn off the world for awhile than music, I don’t want to know what that is. Music is always with me and I consider music to be almost the best thing in the world. I honestly don’t know what I would do some days without a world of music to close out the noise of the actual world around me.

I was going through the motions at work this afternoon, desperate for the workday top just end, and my motivation was really dropping. I asked my Google Home speaker to play Dvorak. Immediately, I was transported to places I only dreamed about on the wings of his music. 

Music can get me through anything. Work, social distancing, anything. Let music take you away on an adventure sometime soon.

DDP Yoga Day 20

Honestly, I was glad that Saturday was a scheduled day off from my routine. I think I slightly sprained one of the muscles in my foot, although it isn’t really painful, I can feel it when I walk and the muscle along the inside of the sole of my foot feels like it is stretched. I’ve never felt this sensation before so I’m monitoring it closely.

I am not stopping my routine. I’m looking forward to next week because it is the last week of my introductory session.

My Own Private Idaho

It sounds strange, but in the midst of all the chaos and turmoil of the COVID-19 pandemic, I seem to be closer than ever to my own Private Idaho of Inner Peace. For whatever reason, things are falling into place with my life. There are still struggles, there always will be, but they no longer seem as insurmountable as they used to.

We moved on the first of April and have settled into our new place. As quiet as the last apartment was, this one puts it to shame. We are basically in the country in a medium size apartment complex, but without a major airport within 10 miles like the last place. Planes flew over all day and into the evening until 2300 or so each night. I don’t remember seeing vapor trails here in the sky since we arrived.

My sinuses acted up immediately after we arrived here. There were several days when I began to think that we must have moved to the worst place in the world for my sinus problems. But after starting Yoga on a daily basis, I have gotten better rather quickly, and I am sleeping better at night as well. I cannot describe how much better I feel.

Hal and I have not had any problems with the new neighbors. Everyone here is in the same situation as us with regards to the world situation, and that gives us all common ground to stand on.

We will save money by living here. I am relaxing with the knowledge that I can pay things off without as much stress every pay period. Things got too damned expensive at the last apartment, we just couldn’t stay there.

So there you have it. My personal story although a brief one, about how I have found my own Private Idaho and Inner Peace.

Be Kind to One Another

DDP Yoga Day 19

Friday is here, and I wanted to sleep in this morning. I firmly believe that DDP Yoga has helped me to sleep better at night. Sleeping has been a major problem for me for a long time. I suffer from frequent bouts of insomnia, which is never nice.
In the last 3 weeks, I have started sleeping better. I am extremely happy about this and I am attributing it ti DDP Yoga. Anyway, I chose to get a few more minutes of precious sleep this morning, but I will get my workout in this evening so I don’t miss a day of working out.
Looking forward to the weekend here.

DDP Yoga Day 18

Mission accomplished, at least for this morning. Even though today was a scheduled off day, I wanted to continue with my workouts so I did the session immediately after waking up this morning. Unless something happens to stop me, I plan to do the workout again immediately after work. I feel awesome and I slept better last night. My sinuses are also clearing up, and that helps tremendously.
I am going to work out twice a day for a while because I think that I am up to the task. I have one more week with the basic course before moving on to the next set of exercises. I am glad that I started at the beginning so I was able to get my mind in the right place to keep moving forward. Mental attitude is very important with something like a workout routine, and DDP Yoga is no different.

False Confidence

As a wonderful and inspiring day winds down here, I found myself thinking about dipping my digital toes back into the social media pool. I have these feelings from time to time and I always find the willpower to resist. Today, thankfully, was no exception.

I deliberately ended my social media presence a long time ago because things got out of control. The attacks that came from people I never interacted with were just too damn annoying. The whole experience turned into a swamp of negativity. While the temptation might arise every now and then, I just no longer want to deal with fake people.

DDP Yoga Day 8

This morning was the first time that I was tempted to skip a scheduled workout, but I am glad that I found the internal discipline to get up and take part in the workout session. I feel great after all the stretching, but even more than that, I feel incredible for making certain that I did NOT skip out today.
I know that one of the keys to making this program work for me is to resist the urge to cheat, or to stop altogether. That is the reason I have gotten into such terrible shape in the first place. I cannot afford to let that happen to me again. I need this program to work for me. I want this program to work for me. I want to be in better shape. I want to lose weight. I want to feel better. I want to sleep better and relax more.
This program is all about me, but not in a selfish way that hurts others. I can do this and I will feel so much better about myself in the long term.