A Kind Of Life

A Kind Of Life

I sometimes wonder how other people see me. I don’t worry about their approval or disapproval, but what they see when they look at me.

Full disclosure. I’m an only child and a well-adjusted gay man in my 50s. I don’t have any children, and don’t want any. I’ve been in a wonderful relationship for more than 21 years that shows no signs of ending.

Recently, my cousin died from COVID-19. Because of the pandemic I wasn’t able to go to the funeral. Apparently I was mentioned, according to my sources, and some less than flattering things were said about me. The words don’t hurt me, but I have to wonder how my relatives and others really see me.

Notice I didn’t say how I am, but how I’m perceived by others. In the grand scheme of things, other peoples’ opinions don’t matter. If there’s a comparison or a contest, I have no clue how to evaluate my life against anyone else’s.

There are relatives approximately the same age as me who make more money, but there are those who make less. Some of them have long and happy marriages just like my long and happy relationship with Hal, others have had multiple marriages and divorces I count myself on the winning side for that argument. Most have children, I do not. I feel fortunate bit because I hate children, but because not having children has made me the person I am today.

I can’t feel bad because of how others see me. Life is too important to spend it chasing someone else’s dreams. The fact that nine of this even occurred to me until I am 57 years young is a testament to believing in myself and not worrying about how others see me or my life.

It is ironic that death makes some people care about life. It is tragic when they focus on other people’s lives rather than their own.

A Well-Deserved Break

A Well-Deserved Break

I decided that I needed a break as I try to change the direction of my blog. Yesterday I deliberately avoided posting and writing because there comes a time when we all need a break.

There were so many other things going on yesterday as well that required my attention. Between getting my short term disability taken care of and doctors appointments and tax stuff, I had a full day.

Now I’m ready to find a topic and start writing.

Stats

Stats

One of the things I’ve come to terms with regarding the changes I’m making to my blog is that I need to stop focusing on stats. The changes I am implementing will probably drive some readers away from my blog, and I have to accept that. If fewer people read this blog, the stats will go down as well. I hope that I will attract new readers as I live old ones, but that us all up to me and how well I write.

Changing Times

Most of the time, I deal with my diabetes without too much trouble. I’ve learned through the years how to manage my condition without interrupting my daily life properly.

However, there are times when my diabetes gets the best of me. Earlier today, I forgot my morning dose of medicine, and I felt the impact of that mistake. My neck and shoulders really sore, almost burning sensation, and nothing helps until I take some insulin. The blood sugar was high, and I am waiting for it to come down. The pain and burning have gone away, and even my breathing is better.

Now I have to resist the temptation to do anything except getting my blood sugar level down. This is something that I can not rush, it has to happen after taking the insulin. Until then I must force myself to relax and unwind.

This whole scenario occurs occasionally and that is how I have learned to handle it without difficulty. Just another part of my ever-changing life.