Kindness Journey – Day 167 – Tired of feeling this way

The other day I was out with Hal when it started. It felt like quicksand, trapping me and pulling me down. The more I struggled, the worse things got, and the more helpless I felt.

Hal watched this happen and tried to help, but I was so caught up that I couldn’t/wouldn’t listen to him trying to help me. I was getting physically stressed and felt ill.

What was happening to me? It was just anger boiling over. Little things were upsetting me and I lost control. I hate when it happens, thankfully it doesn’t happen that often anymore, but any occurrence is too many.

I have re-dedicated myself to Kindness. I have stopped watching the news because it only gets me agitated and angry. I meditate more than I have in the past, and I’ve stopped reading and posting political items on this blog.

I’m tired of being a slave to my own anger, especially when I am the one who should be in control of it. I can do better than this, I know I can. Life should be enjoyed.

Ever since that unfortunate episode, I have made every effort to stay in control of my anger. My quick meditations are always on standby, and I stop what I’m doing whenever I feel my anger start to awaken, so I can deal with it right away.

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