Kindness Journey – Day 125 – Dealing with frustration

I get frustrated with myself very quickly these days. My brain locks up, and I can’t verbalize what I want to say. I know this results from the health issues I’m dealing with, but knowing the reason doesn’t make things easier to acknowledge.

My mind seems as sharp as ever, at least to me, but the average flow from my brain to my mouth to speak clearly and concisely no longer functions. I don’t know how to react to something like this. It frustrates me, but it also scares me. I don’t want to become some Rain Man-type character as I age.

I’ve talked with Hal about my frustration and fears; he believes, and I hope that he is right, that once I am on the CPAP machine at night, I will get better. Only time will tell about that theory because I’m on a waiting list for a CPAP machine, and the estimated wait time is 6-7 months.

I’m struggling with all of these thoughts while I’m unable to sleep, which can’t be good. Thankfully, Hsl and I are going to the chiropractor at lunchtime Friday, so I should feel better, at least physically, afterward.

I did get some sleep before the chiropractor’s visit, but even after taking Zyrtec, my sinuses are so bad that I have to cough and clear my throat several times before I can talk clearly. Some might consider this a blessing that I can’t speak as much as I did.

I will try to relax for the rest of the day here. No weekend plans, but I might have an idea for a future blog post.

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