Very often, silence is the best option. I used to think that every situation required not only my attention, but my opinion. I felt like the world would be such a better place if only everyone would just listen to me.
I began to realize I was wrong when my health failed 2 years ago. I found out that I didn’t have all the answers after all. It felt like I was screaming into the void. I was so isolated and afraid of what might happen to me. I started searching for meaning that wasn’t all about me. I’m not a spiritual person, and I’m definitely not religious. I’ve witnessed the immense harm that religion can cause without people realizing it.
Eventually, I started focusing on people and stories about simple Kindness. There was no organized group, just people who shared their own personal stories or told about those of other people. Kindness didn’t ask for donations, or demand that I follow rules that made no sense.
Kindness doesn’t tell me I failed, it gives me the knowledge to recognize that for myself without condemnation from a group. And Kindness is not a proselytizing experience that demands I try to bring people to my point of view. Silence is an ally of Kindness because as I have learned on my journey, I cannot reconcile Kindness with how I used to be, but at the same time I know that this journey will last the rest of my life unless I choose to stop.
Everyone has an equal opportunity to find Kindness. There is no discrimination, but that doesn’t mean that I have to blindly accept anything either. I still oppose injustice and oppression. I still care about others, but I won’t allow Kindness to be a means for me to be exploited either.
I still find myself struggling to know when to not speak. I know it is more often than I used to think. When I feel strongly about something, I try my best to make sure my words are Kind and helpful, not just more noise added to the chaos.
Being Silent equals being Kind to myself.