Kindness Journey – Day 55 – Focusing on myself

I went to the doctor the other day. Whenever I’m not told that something new has fallen apart, it counts as a good visit. I took the results as a sign that I’m at least preserving my health, if not improving it.

I realize that now is the time to show more Kindness to myself. For all of the writing I’ve done talking about how to extend Kindness to others, an important thing is to show Kindness to yourself on a regular basis.

Being Kind to yourself also means being Honest with yourself. By no means should you neglect the Truth. I’m going to be Kind to myself by paying closer attention to my diabetes care. I’ve dealt with this disease for so long, and I get so tired of having it, that I need to focus again on managing things better every day.

I’ve confused laziness with Kindness in the past and my health has suffered from some of those choices. I wasn’t trying to practice Kindness until recently, but the lack of honesty produced the same results. I let rational fears become irrational because I failed to address them.

The best example is my inability to control my blood glucose before bedtime. Years ago, I took too much insulin and woke up on the verge of falling into a diabetic coma. I managed to get a blood glucose reading, and it was 35. That is a dangerously low number. I was terrified about what happened, and I felt physical distress.

After that, and for many years, I would eat something before bedtime to keep my blood glucose levels normal. In reality, I was just elevating my numbers and then trying to bring them back down when they went too high. The fear of that feeling of hypoglycemia consumed me. I resolved that I would never let that happen again.

Last night, I monitored my blood glucose levels after dinner and took steps to bring it into normal range before bedtime. Taking a smaller dose of insulin, I was able to get to the normal range without eating before bedtime. I was scared that I would wake up with my blood glucose plummeting, but that didn’t happen.

Being Kind to myself works best when it is combined with being Honest with myself. Taking the to understand this makes all the difference in the world.

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