Finally

I have finally paid off my debt! I don’t know exactly how to feel at a time like this. Part of me wants to celebrate, but the years of living hand-to-mouth have made me weary and I just don’t have the energy. I feel like the child I used to be, waiting and staying up very late to see a movie on tv only to be so tired that I couldn’t enjoy it.

Technically, I’ll be in debt for another week or so until the last payment posts, but the funds are already allocated. I remembered to stop the automatic monthly payments after next week, which was a great feeling.

I’m still amazed that I could accomplish this after going on disability and having my income almost halved. I learned when and where to spend. The pandemic actually helped in a weird way because there was less opportunity to go out and spend money. Obviously, I’d rather not have a pandemic, but I had no choice in the matter.

Now I look forward to putting the chunk of money that went to debt payment each month into my savings, to be held for a rainy day or an emergency. If I really need something I can use my credit, but only as a last resort.

Emotionally, I’m still trying to process what has happened. I’ve dreamed of this day for so long, and now it’s finally here. Since there won’t be any wild celebration, I’ll find another way to celebrate this milestone.