Helpless

Sometimes I feel like there is no more that I can do to address a problem or a situation. I was taught as a child that there is a solution to everything if I can take the time to find it. My parents never watched Star Trek, so they never would have understood the Kobiyashi Maru scenario, a no-win situation.

I face a no-win scenario with my health right now. I’m just over a bout of hypoglycemia, where my blood sugar dropped to 49 and woke me out of my sleep in a cold sweat. Luckily, I had glucose tablets on the bedside table for emergencies, and this qualified. My blood sugar stabilized after about 10 minutes of slowly chewing and swallowing glucose tablets. I got my level back to 104, and now I am terrified of going back to sleep.

Experience has taught me that I won’t have another hypoglycemia episode tonight, but the fear isn’t rational. I am helpless against this fear, making me feel angry and ashamed. I should not have those responses, but they always appear at times like these.

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