I tried many times to be optimistic about things. An easy thing to say is that it is much harder than it seems. I try again now because life is too short to let the world drag me down. I want to be informed, but not at the cost of my sanity.

     My observations are not that important to the world as much as I want them to be. It is time to turn my focus inward and be a better person.

     One year ago, I was in and out of the hospital, and I didn’t know if I would survive to be here now. Thankfully, I am here, and there must be a reason for it. I learned a lot lying in a hospital bed for weeks at a time about myself and the world around me. I got better through medicine and therapy, including meditation. Since I left the hospital for the last time (knock on wood) on 16 DEC 20, I have maintained some degree of meditation, but it has been slipping recently.

     The last thing I want is to go back to the hospital again. I struggled to put my life back together, and for the most part, I succeeded. But I have a terrible nagging feeling that I am losing my grip on things because I let the world govern me instead of focusing on myself and my life first.

     It is hard to stay positive, the world does its best to drag me down, and I feel I’m not strong enough to fight back. Deep inside, I know that I can change my life, but that means turning away from the outside world and focusing my attention on taking care of myself.

     The best way for me to make a difference is to be a positive influence on others. That is my goal going forward. I must stop and think before responding to someone by answering these three questions before speaking or typing.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it Necessary?
  3. Is it Kind?

If I can answer those three questions affirmatively, then it is worth saying.

     Wish me luck.

5 thoughts on “Reflection

    1. I’m fine, just tired of trying to change the world after realizing the toll it is taking on me. Hope you and yours are well.

      1. I have to do this. The world is killing me, and it is my fault for letting this happen. I have to taker control back.

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