I tried many times to be optimistic about things. An easy thing to say is that it is much harder than it seems. I try again now because life is too short to let the world drag me down. I want to be informed, but not at the cost of my sanity.
My observations are not that important to the world as much as I want them to be. It is time to turn my focus inward and be a better person.
One year ago, I was in and out of the hospital, and I didn’t know if I would survive to be here now. Thankfully, I am here, and there must be a reason for it. I learned a lot lying in a hospital bed for weeks at a time about myself and the world around me. I got better through medicine and therapy, including meditation. Since I left the hospital for the last time (knock on wood) on 16 DEC 20, I have maintained some degree of meditation, but it has been slipping recently.
The last thing I want is to go back to the hospital again. I struggled to put my life back together, and for the most part, I succeeded. But I have a terrible nagging feeling that I am losing my grip on things because I let the world govern me instead of focusing on myself and my life first.
It is hard to stay positive, the world does its best to drag me down, and I feel I’m not strong enough to fight back. Deep inside, I know that I can change my life, but that means turning away from the outside world and focusing my attention on taking care of myself.
The best way for me to make a difference is to be a positive influence on others. That is my goal going forward. I must stop and think before responding to someone by answering these three questions before speaking or typing.
- Is it true?
- Is it Necessary?
- Is it Kind?
If I can answer those three questions affirmatively, then it is worth saying.
Wish me luck.