September 6, 2021

Labor Day

     I woke up in the middle of the night, well woke up isn’t the right term, since I didn’t sleep well. I couldn’t breathe because my head was so stopped up, and I ended up snoring until my dry mouth became too much to handle. At that point, I gave up and turned on the MacBook and eventually started writing.

     I think that there insomnia was caused by my blood sugar being high when I went to bed. I need to keep better control over it from now on so I can sleep better,.I’m resigned to being awake the rest of the night, so I might as well take the best of it.

     I’ve had several episodes, or flashbacks, this weekend of my hospital stays that started one year ago. When I was grocery shopping yesterday, I started to feel that awful shortness of breath that was always the precursor to a trip to the hospital. I got to the car and tested my blood o2 level.l Thankfully the level was fine, but I know that this was because I immediately started meditating in the store when I realized something was wrong.

     I think back to the therapist in the hospital who told men that the anniversaries of my illness would probably bring unpleasant feelings and memories, and that I should be extra cautious at those times. Now I really understand what she was talking about. I was so near death at that time, the memories are powerful even if they are subliminal.

     I will take it easy today. I’m sure that I will get a nap or two through the day. I hope that I can sleep well  tonight and not face a repeat of the whole insomnia thing.