One Year Ago

 

    

    
One year ago, I was in the hospital, struggling to breathe and feeling anxious about what was happening to me. I was afraid that I might have COVID, but it turned out that I had COPD. My kidneys were also in bad shape.

     I had gone through a year of tough times on the job. I felt under-appreciated and disillusioned with my career. I didn’t realize that my hospital visit was the first of five that would take place between Labor Day and Christmas.

     I am anxious today because I remember what happened to me one year ago. The therapists I spoke to in the hospital told me that something like this might happen. I am writing to get these feelings out in the open so that I can deal with them.

     I am still on disability, part of me wants to go back to work, but another part never wants to return to that job again. I have recovered, but I am still nowhere near 100%. I tire easily and find myself meditating to calm my emotions. I would not last one day back at work.

     I hope that the anniversary anxiety will go away soon. The last thing I want is to go back to the hospital again.