Flashbacks

Flashbacks

Saturday was a cold, damp, and all-around miserable day here. We didn’t leave the apartment at all. My sinuses were killing me with congestion and either sneezing or blowing out great gobs of crap when I blew my nose. Things got to the point where I used oxygen for the first time in weeks, other than sleeping. It helps keep my nasal passages open so I can breathe.

I was sitting in my chair, inhaling oxygen, and I remembered not that long ago when just doing this simple task exhausted me. I’ve come a long way, but I know I’m still fragile.

For some reason, I’ve had flashbacks over the last few days about my time in the hospital. I hope this isn’t a precursor of things to come. I’m monitoring my health as best I can, and I’ve been concerned over the last few days that something isn’t quite right. I’m examining my legs and feet daily, and I asked Hal to do so as well. I’m afraid that my kidney function might be decreasing again. I have an appointment with the urologist later in June, but if things go wrong, I’ll try to get there as soon as possible.

Something like this doesn’t scare me anymore. I’ve been through too much to let stress kill me now. When Hal came into the living room, the first words out of his mouth were, “Why are you on Oxygen?” followed by “Why didn’t you say something?” I’m lucky to be with Hal. These 21 years are the best in my life, and I want a lot more years with Hal.

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