I slept late today, and I’m glad I did. The afternoon is total boredom because of the hype around the Super Bowl. I’m old enough to remember when the game was played earlier in the day, but now there are six hours of bullshit infoporn hype. I don’t care about the “human interest” approach and six hours is way too long for game analysis. I also am out of fucks to give about celebrities at the Super Bore.
I’ll watch the game until it gets boring or turns into a blowout. Commercials?? Fuck them.
I endured a lot over the last six months. I was hospitalized multiple times and nearly died at one point. Through it all, I had Hal by my side
During my hospital stays, friends reached out to me. Their messages and conversations were keys to my recovery and return home in December.
Now that February is here, the silence that existed before my hospital stays has returned. The difference is that now it comes as no shock. When texts sent to multiple friends fail to generate any response from all but one of them, it is time to raise the emotional barriers once again.
I will always be grateful to the friends who supported me when I was down, but I can’t invest effort in those people when everything has gone back to the one-sided status quo from before.
I will be here for them if they need me as I needed them, but I can’t see the free-flowing communication I briefly enjoyed returning.
This is my hard-ass side showing to everyone else, but to me, it is the re-establishment of barriers to protect myself from getting involved in stagnant relationships.
For the last two days, my sinuses have been acting up and making me miserable. I have felt short of breath, but my pulse oximeter readings remain good. This time the breathing problem is in my head, my sinuses to be exact.
Hal tried setting up a portable fan to blow air OUT of the apartment, and we both noticed a big difference. There is a problem with this apartment and the air/atmosphere that affects both of us. I’m ready to move on to the new apartment, but that has to wait until April. Our lease isn’t up until then, and the complex we live in now won’t let us leave early without a massive penalty unless we can prove there is something in this apartment affecting us. Sadly, proving that to the landlord would cost as much money sd breaking the least, so we are counting the days until we can get away from here. I believe that we are just under eight weeks from moving as of right now.