It seems that the friends who took the time and cared about me when I was in the hospital have returned to their everyday lives and jobs. I don’t envy them making that choice. We all have to survive, after all. It does bring me back to Earth in some ways because I had come to depend on those conversations and interactions to make me feel important in the grand scheme of things.
For the past week, I’ve wondered if this would be how things turned out. The holidays were the first thing to pull people away, and I had no right to interfere with whatever plans they already had. This first step in the separation just made the next step that much easier.
Once the newly formed bond was broken, the desire to put it back together again was lacking. No immediate attempts were made, and the lack of effort indicates that repairs won’t be made quickly.
So it is back to the old normal for me. Isolation as the rule. Luckily it is something that I’m equipped to handle without difficulty since I was already so used to it.