Re-evaluating

Saturday is here, although it is very early. Insomnia had had its hooks in me throughout the night for several reasons. One of them is the knowledge that I might be discharged from the hospital today. The subject was mentioned by the doctors, but no final decision was made.

I was initially hesitant about being sent home too soon, but after Hal confided that he wasn’t feeling well yesterday, my reasoning has changed. If he needs my help, being stuck here doesn’t do either one of us any good. Therefore, if the option to go home is presented to me later today, I feel like I have to take it.

I am convinced that the doctors have done a marvelous job getting me better this past week. I feel incredible compared to when I was admitted a week ago last Thursday. I believe I can operate effectively at home now without too much difficulty.

I want to be home again. I want to see The Stooges and relax in my own bed without people constantly bothering me for samples and medication. I want to write using my MacBook and not just the iPhone keyboard. I want to eat according to when I’m hungry, rather than some arbitrary schedule determined by someone else.

I want to be able to drive again. I want to take Hal to and from places he needs to be when he needs to be there. I’m tired of being restricted to a single room 24-7. I want to experience fresh air and sunshine again.

If I’m given the chance to go home today, I’m going to take it.

Friday summary

Friday afternoon is here and I’m still in the hospital. There is one change that I need to mention, and that is Hal called me earlier and said he isn’t feeling well (just tired) and won’t be visiting me today.

I’m heartbroken over the news for two reasons. First of all, I don’t want Hal to be sick. He has been wonderful throughout this ordeal, and I told him to get some rest. Secondly, I’m selfishly hurt because Hal’s visits are the bright spots in my days here. Knowing that he won’t be here today has me putting on my brave face for the world and pretending that I’m not hurting inside.

The doctors mentioned the possibility of being discharged tomorrow, that remains to be seen. If Hal needs me at home, I will go without hesitation. I’ll get Lyft to take me home.