Gut Punch

Hal just left after his daily visit to my hospital room. Each visit is wonderful, but each time he leaves is like a punch to the gut because it hurts so badly saying goodbye. Hal returns home to The Stooges and normalcy, while I have to prepare for another lonely night by myself.

It really doesn’t seem fair at all. But I’m still stuck here waiting to finally learn what is wrong with me, with no end in sight.

Thursday will mark the 1-week mark for this hospital stay. There’s no end date in sight yet, so I have to fight to keep my spirits up.

Change is in the air

I have no desire to prolong the agony of this election any longer. The news will NOT be seen by me today, or possibly for much longer. I had a feeling that things would turn out like this, and I’m beyond tired of the shit.

The dangerous “I told you so” syndrome

Four years ago, I also feared the worst and I was right. That doesn’t make me any smarter than everyone else, just perhaps more observant regarding how people behave.

I want to focus on non-political things and reorient my life away from politics, perhaps forever. The anger that so many people are feeling isn’t good for me right now. I’ll probably end up purging online contacts who can’t get over what is happening.

I want to focus on myself and what I can do to be happy. Part of that effort involved a major purge of my social media accounts. I’ve deliberately unfollowed those who tweet nothing but politics. The temptation to dive in headfirst is too great, and I don’t need that in my life anymore.

I can only control a limited number of things, and those need to be my sole priority going forward. I can’t waste any more time with things that are beyond my control.

What are the things that matter to me? Not in the global scale, but in the here and now? Those are the things that deserve my attention now.

I have to cut the ties with those who cannot understand the change I must make in myself. Our lives will diverge and we will go our separate ways.