Saturday Night

Halloween night is here. Since I’m stuck in the hospital, I can’t say for certain how much things are “out there”, but I hope that everyone is being extra cautious and careful this year if they bother to go out at all.

I definitely have a new bout of pneumonia going on here. One minute I feel almost normal, but moving around even slightly turns me into jello because I can’t breathe sufficiently. I have to be escorted to the toilet, or to sit in the chair here near the window. I have my throw blanket to keep me warm because I get chilly very easily.

If I weren’t in the hospital, I know that Hal and I would be staying home with The Stooges and relaxing as a family. I wish I was there right now. Hal texted me to let me know that he’s watching Svengoolie, our Saturday night tradition, and he’s scared by the movie. Hopefully , he’ll record it so we can watch it together in the future.

When I get home (date still TBD) I will limit my trips out even more than before. I’ve already signed up for groceries to be delivered, or at least picked up outside the store if Hal still needs to make a separate purchase. I just want to limit my exposure to things as the weather gets colder and the flu starts to add to the pandemic.

It sucks to be already putting restrictions on myself before going home, but it is best to plan these things ahead of time. The pandemic won’t get better anytime soon, Cheeto Mussolini has made sure to completely fuck everything up all over the country. I’m not sure when “normal” will ever return.

I am thankful that my COVID tests were negative. Pneumonia is bad enough, but treatable without experimentation therapy that might or might not work.

One of the worst parts of being cooped up like this is losing track of time and feeling so cut off from everyone else. The loneliness is eased when Hal visits, but every time he has to leave it just keeps tears at my heart even more than the time before.

As if to emphasize how I feel, tonight is the longest night of the year due to the clocks rolling back an hour. Such is my life right now.