Some days are better than others. This concept has been real for me over the last several weeks. Unfortunately, most of them have fallen into the “not so good” category. The job I have loved for so many years has been changing, and my passion is officially gone. Now I just want to put in my hours and leave.
Things that I had control over have somehow become someone else’s responsibilities. However, I am still doing the same, if not more, work than before. Presentations morphed from information sessions into formal productions, complete with outlandish choreography, bells, and whistles, which to me, are meaningless.
I have run right up to the edge of being officially let go over the changes. I am tired of caring, and therefore I no longer have any passion for putting into the product anymore. My boss knows how I feel, and we have at least agreed to disagree for the time being. I don’t see things getting any better. The die is cast.
And so, I just make my way through the days now. I hope for quiet instead of chaos, consent rather than conflict. I will count each day without conflict as a victory because fighting for what I believed proved to be a disaster. For the first time, I find myself thinking seriously about retirement.
At least I still have my writing to keep me sane and interested in each day that comes along. I can focus on Hal and the Stooges more, and leave the job behind me each afternoon and get back to life itself.