Scary Movies

I really don’t have a “scary movie” that actually terrified me. In fact, the only scary movie that I remember having any impact at all was “The Blair Witch Project” from 1999. 

I was in the Navy in 1999 and the movie came out during the summer when I was overseas on a 6-month deployment on a ship. This was before ships had internet access and reliable email. I remember reading about the impact that the Blair Witch Project was having from old copies of Time magazine that we finally got on the ship. I actually was intrigued by the concept of a movie shot in a camcorder, and I wondered what all the hysteria was about. I read articles about how scary the movie was, and how people were frightened after seeing it.

My ship came home in the early fall of 1999. The movie was already gone from theaters, but not yet in the video stores. I made up my mind that I was going to watch it at the first opportunity. I was hoping to be impressed, instead, I laughed my ass off.

Let me preface by saying that I was born and raised on a farm and spent lots of time in the woods. I thought that the entire concept of getting lost in the woods was laughable. As a child, I was taught that if I ever thought I was lost in the woods that I should find the nearest moving water and follow it. Even if it was just a small stream it would lead to a larger stream or river, or to a lake where there would most likely be people and buildings.

I thought of the times camping with friends as children when we would try to scare each other by making noises in the night, or by lurking around tents and throwing rocks to wake and scare those who were inside. Hearing noises and finding tree branches twisted into weird shapes would not scare me because they were made either by an animal (for some of the noises) or by people (noises and tree branches). There is nothing there in the dark that isn’t there in the light.

People who knew that I had missed the movie because I was gone asked if it scared me. They thought I was crazy when I told them that I laughed almost to tears over the idiots lost in the woods who crossed the same creek but never followed it, and who lost their shit over some tree branches made by people trying to scare them.

Good times 🙂

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