A Valuable Lesson

Lessons are another word for learning from our mistakes, or from the mistakes of those who came before us. It usually doesn’t matter if others have already made the error; humans have the gift of wanting to make the same mistake again themselves. My story involves a genuinely one-way love. I was younger and thought that I knew everything necessary about life, and I considered myself a good judge of character. I didn’t realize some people were much better at acting than I was at spotting them. I fell head over heels in love and was busy making plans for a beautiful future together while the other person was making plans to abscond with my bank account and everything in it.

Luckily, my friends convinced me that I needed to see for myself what was going on and what I saw shocked me. The person I loved thought I was out of town or a few weeks. In reality, I was staying with friends and surreptitiously watching my significant other. I was only shocked the first time when I saw how they showed no regard for our relationship. I quickly built up my defenses and prepared to face them over their behavior.
When the time came to confront them, I was ready. I didn’t let the subject change because the confrontation was about their behavior, not mine. In less than 10 minutes, I had effectively ended the relationship and cast them to the curb. The pain was unbearable at the time, but I knew it w. I knew then that the mistake had been in allowing someone to win my trust and affection so easily. I swore that it would never happen to me again, and it hasn’t. I learned to be more wary of people and to delay putting my trust in them until I felt at ease.

Now I am happy after 20 years with Hal (person), and I am glad that, in hindsight, I learned the valuable lesson about trust and love.

Be Careful When You Choose The Hill You Want To Fight On…..

There is an old saying that you must be careful when choosing the hill that you decide to fight on because it might end up being the hill that you die on. I was reminded of this old saying when I saw an email from one of my bosses. He stated that the project wasn’t proceeding in the way he thought it should. He also indicated that the customer was completely wrong in their approach (his words, not mine) and that if there was no change in the next 60 days, he was going to resign. He has planted his flag on this hill, and he might very well see his career die on that hill in full view of everyone.

My first thought that the email must have been a mistake. However, more than two days later, there has been no recall or subsequent email explaining away the email. In a way, I can understand some of how he feels. It is frustrating to have a vision that looks so wonderful and seems to meet every expectation that the customer has. However, the customer is always right, and the customer pays the bills. If the customer has restrictions on how to improve their product that we create, we have to work with what the customer is willing to support, or we need to stay quiet. 

Watching a train wreck is never pleasant, but it has a morbid fascination and seems to draw attention to itself. I hate to see someone make a pointless sacrifice, especially when it becomes a public spectacle.