The next topic in my journaling adventure asks if I have ever hurt someone else in order to feel better about myself. I honestly don’t think I have ever knowingly hurt anyone else to make myself feel better, that is one of the most reprehensible things that I can think of.
I have said hurtful things in response to something that was said to me, but I read the questionas meaning that I would hurt others to cover up some shortcomings that I have. I cannot imagine treating another person like that under any conditions.
My life has been difficult at times. I have been the object of other peoples’ scorn so that they would supposedly feel better about themselves. It is a terrible feeling but there is nothing productive that can be done about it because anyone who would treat another person that way is defective and not worth the effort to engage them to try and correct them.
I always try to encourage people if I see that they are down. I offer to help, but I know when to walk away. I make my mistakes, but I accept responsibility for them and would never try to blame others for something that was my fault.
The latest prompt from my blogging journey is “What is something that I need to let go of? What is weighing me down? How can I make peace with these ghosts from my past? That seems like quite a deep subject to delve into, but I will try.
It took me awhile to dig deep enough to understand and answer these questions. As we grow older, we tend to hold onto things and beliefs that we feel have worked for us through the years. We seldom take the time to explore how well these things and beliefs actually serve us. Alternatives are rarely explored, and we stagnate.
After deep thought, I realized that I have to let go of my resentment towards my extended family. The background would take far too long to explain but I’ll just say that since my parents are dead I have almost zero contacts in the world in terms of family. Hal and The Stooges are the center of my life. My birthday was recently, but no one in my extended family called or emailed or sent a card. I used to send cards and make calls to almost all of my cousins on their birthdays, but eventually I stopped because there was no gratitude or appreciation or love shown. The family bonds have been broken for too long to ever worry about repairing now. Whatever the reason they see for the gulf between us, I can’t spend anymore time nor effort to bridge that gap. It is time to move on.