The last two months of this year have been extremely difficult at work for me. I feel as if I was set up for failure in order to have someone else look good for promotion. I was not under consideration for the position, so I was completely blindsided when things were dumped into my lap. Things that were clearly going to crash and burn in spectacular fashion. Yet, my name was on these things when the failures occurred.
Between my manager and the other person, their plans were a complete success. For me, I was left to face the criticism and recriminations for the tasks that were dumped on me at the last minute and guaranteed to fail.
Up until this event, I had never been happier in a job like I had been in this one. That has all changed. Adding in the fact that my appraisal took a major dive as a result of this whole episode and I finally had to have a serious discussion with my supervisor. I told her that I was no longer happy with my job as it has been reconstituted with the additional tasking.
While I never threatened to walk away from the job, I did inform her and the other person who directly benefitted from my misfortune that things will never be the same again in our relationships.
I have spent time listening to music all my life when something happens and I need to find the right words to say. This time, my perfect phrase that I have in mind for my supervisor and the other person came from the song “Precious” by Depeche Mode. These words perfectly describe my new relationship with the supervisor and the other worker.
“Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we’d manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give”.
2019 will start with a clean slate as far as I am concerned. No traces of the previous relationships or friendships will ever cloud my judgment again.
I will soon be characterized as cold and aloof, and not a true team player. I can easily deal with that psychobabble bullshit without any harm to myself. Relationships do get damaged and broken, and the things left unsaid make it impossible to continue on the way things were.