I started a blog post yesterday that never saw the light of day. I often write things down and then decide that they aren’t worth the trouble of publishing. Proofreading is something that I do as part of my job, and old habits die hard. I want my blog to be as enjoyable as possible, and that means that things have to meet a certain standard before I share them.
I suppose this habit makes me more of a writer than I want to admit. I certainly don’t depend on my writing skills for a living, I have often wondered if I could make a career doing so, but I have never dared to find out. As with most things, I have reached a point of happiness in my life. My days of reckless exploration are over with because I have so much to lose and I don’t want to risk it all. When you reach middle age, you start to think like this, no matter what you want to tell yourself.
John Lennon once said “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans,” and he was right. The daydreams of youth occupy our thoughts, but our minds tend to focus on things that need to be done to keep all of the plates spinning without them crashing to the ground. Life is a balancing act that we all strive to master throughout our lives so we can stay relatively happy. Far too often we let this consume us, and we lose sight of our dreams. I struggle with this every day, trying to find that perfect point that makes things carry on the way that I have arranged them.
And so, I proofread my blog to keep things balanced. I find myself veering into territory that I need to either stay private or stay away from altogether. We all need our secrets. They define us both to ourselves and to others. Motivations and inspirations come through when we write, and those who read the words closely will develop a pretty clear picture of who we are. Blogging provides the chance to be someone else, at least for a while, but eventually, the real person breaks through. There is a vast difference between writing to tell a story and writing to hide oneself away from the rest of the world. That second choice to hide away is never successful for very long.
I want to tell the story of my life. I want to post things that interest me. That is the whole point of this blog. To those who read and enjoy what I write, I thank you and am grateful for you. This blog serves as an introduction to people from all over the world whom I will never meet, but that doesn’t preclude me from being as honest as possible. If I ever meet someone who follows this blog, I would want them to have a good idea of who I am, not who I pretend to be.