Dreamer’s World August 9, 2018 – Never Had A Chance To Say Goodbye

Dreamer’s World August 9, 2018 – Never Had A Chance To Say Goodbye


    I wonder how often we all feel some sudden urge to contact someone whom we haven’t heard from in a while? How often do we follow through on that urge? I remember my parents telling me when I was a child that when I felt that way about someone, that there was an excellent chance that the person in question was also thinking about me at the same time.
    How often does someone from our past that has drifted away jump into the forefront of our thoughts? The same lesson from my parents applies to this scenario. I wonder if this is, at times, a cry for help?
    Yesterday I was jolted to learn that an old friend of Hal and I had committed suicide a few weeks ago. He had lost his job, and one of his siblings had died unexpectedly. Since we had not heard from him in over a year, we have no idea what else might have been going on in his life. The sad thing is that around the time that he took his own life, I had the urge to get in touch with him since we had not heard from him in so long.
    I am not saying that talking to him would have made a difference in the outcome. The chances are that he would have gone ahead with his plans regardless of talking to him. It made me feel a sense of loss that still lingers this morning, but because I am considered a cold-hearted bastard, I know that this feeling will pass quickly.
    One of the other valuable lessons that my parents taught me is that the person who commits suicide is only worth saving when someone can still protect them. To be honest, while suicide is a terrible thing for the person involved, it also is exceptionally selfish on their part. A short, intense feeling of pain and it is all over for them. Sadly, the people who love and care about them will go through an extended period of grief and loss, including the feeling that each of us could have done something, that we should have noticed something, that we could have prevented it from happening. Sometimes this is true, but after the fact, it is utterly pointless to worry. As a friend, I feel the nagging sense of guilt, but not as keenly as those who were still close with him at the last minute.
    I am not religious. I don’t condemn someone to hell for committing suicide. I do condemn them for the pain and suffering that they inflict on those who love and care by their action. My only real regret is that I never got to say goodbye.
    The next time you feel strongly about someone you haven’t heard from, give them a call. Perhaps it will make a difference, maybe not. Hopefully, the call will rekindle the feelings of friendship, and won’t be related to something as awful as suicide.

Tags: Life, Post, Friends, Friendship, Death, Suicide
August 09, 2018 at 08:30AM
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2 thoughts on “Dreamer’s World August 9, 2018 – Never Had A Chance To Say Goodbye

  1. So sorry to hear about your friend.
    I’ve had those times of having people on my mind. Last year when that happened, I figured if anything had happened to the person, that surely his family would contact me. My number was programmed in his cell phone and he carried my picture in his wallet. I was wrong. It was 8 months after his passing that I found out about it.

    • I feel awful for his family and the close friends he had at the time. Sorry, I cannot feel sorry for him, no matter what.

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