Each day that passes presents us with opportunities and challenges. Some things occur that we must respond to in some form or another. How we react determines our life at that moment. Some of these things are physical and tangible, while others are more ethereal or mental, but they are all worthwhile because to discard them is to alter the path that we are on.
Today is one of those days, naturally, but it is a day when I remember my Mom. She would have been 93 years old today, but she is no longer here. I know that today will be filled with memories of her more than other days. For the first few years after she died, I hated the memories because they only served to remind me of who I had lost. The emotions were intense, sad, and bitter because I was coping with loss. The memories were clouded with reactions, rather than just letting them flow through my mind and enjoying them for what they were.
I learned just to embrace the memories that come to me. Questioning why a particular instance would flash into my mind on Mom’s birthday. Most of the memories are wonderful and pleasant, but occasionally there are memories that are sad and unpleasant. I learned to accept them as they appeared, knowing that the simple act of remembering Mom was the vital thing. A memory of an argument reminds me that no one is perfect and that holding a grudge accomplishes nothing positive.
The most crucial memories were when she talked to me about life, and how to deal with it when things go wrong. She taught me that each disappointment was there to remind me of how good things were at other times and that I should always keep things in perspective. She taught me that I had my life to live, and that only I could make myself happy. She taught me to always be considerate of others, but not at the expense of my own well-being.